Learning how to fly the helicopter
Earlier today I was at my friend’s house. I was keeping her company while she was putting the dishes away, getting ready for dinner. Her son (7) was making his new and shiny helicopter fly. After a few minutes of playing he approached her asking to teach her how to fly the helicopter. I stopped talking and watched her gently put the bowl on the counter, getting a hold of the remote. My friend was attentively listening to his instructions and actually trying to make that helicopter fly. Well…she crashed it with no damage, but she did try a number of times (I guess she may need a few more lessons). I was truly inspired by how she was listening to her son, willing to stop her hectic evening routine, ignoring my insignificant stories, in order to try and learn something that was of interest to her child. She made him feel his world and interests were as important as hers; and that he had something to offer and something to teach. I am sure her child felt very special at that moment.
The things one can learn at the thrift store
In one of my many visits to NY I went thrift store hopping with my aunt (who is an artist and a stylist) and her daughter who was 12 years old back then (she should be 24 this summer). My aunt was looking for some vintage pieces for her models. I remember vividly how she took the time to explain to her daughter why she was making the selections she was making. She was giving her a non-lesson in styling. I was getting a non-lesson in ‘the parent I want to be’. I remember thinking to my self how lucky this girl is, and how I want to be the same with my kids - teach them everything I know. My cousin now works as an art director for a high profile advertising company in New York.
Keeping the door open
Zoe (6 1/2) is a self learner. She doesn’t like to be taught different skills, but teaches herself through mimicking and self exploration. I think it is an amazing virtue, but sometimes I wish she would accept some more guidance. When I used to offer to teach her different skills, she would get all negative and I would get aggravated.
Oren, on the other hand, would hardly ever propose to teach her music. All he did was keep his door open, and give her enough room to explore and develop interest in playing an instrument. After she sat by his drum set on her own, he slowly put the head phones in her ears, playing the tunes she likes. Gradually he balanced her hand teaching her
1. They will know so much more
2. Often save money on afternoon activities
3. Spend precious time together
4. Create priceless memories
5. Build trust and understanding
6. Have a partner to do the things you love and know
7. More help in the kitchen
The disadvantage of teaching them everything you know: (yes, I did find some...)
1. If it is a language you are teaching them; the consequence may be no more secret language to share with your husband
2. If you let them taste all the food you like, they will end up sharing your Clams and Brie (that’s what happened to me)
3. If you teach them crafts you know, you may have to share your tools and they don’t always put them back where they belong.
4. If it is an instrument, you may need to take turns.
Some reasons why you should learn form your child:
1. Your child is very smart
2. He/ she are growing up in a time so different that we as adults have much catching up to do, and learning from your child is a great opportunity to do so.
3. Have a better understanding of your child’s world
4. Builds trust and respect
5. If you expect your child to learn from you, you may want to show him/her how its done
6. Spend precious time together
7. Creating priceless memories
As parents we must protect our children and nurture them with the things they need, our bonus is when we teach them things we know.
I can’t tell you how sorry I am for not learning any Hungarian form my dad, or how to knit and crochet from my mom (I have actually recently asked her to teach me how to knit). I am sure most of you could say the same about a language or a skill you wish you would have learned from your parents.
Don’t let your kids grow up wishing they would have learned something form you that they didn't. Make it part of what your family is about. Don’t forget this is not a one way relationship; be ready to learn as much from them at any age and any time, even if you are right in the middle of putting the dishes away. The dishes can wait, but an opportunity will be missed and most likely will not return.
I would love to hear your thoughts on that topic.
You may do so by adding a comment or emailing me directly.
tali
Earlier today I was at my friend’s house. I was keeping her company while she was putting the dishes away, getting ready for dinner. Her son (7) was making his new and shiny helicopter fly. After a few minutes of playing he approached her asking to teach her how to fly the helicopter. I stopped talking and watched her gently put the bowl on the counter, getting a hold of the remote. My friend was attentively listening to his instructions and actually trying to make that helicopter fly. Well…she crashed it with no damage, but she did try a number of times (I guess she may need a few more lessons). I was truly inspired by how she was listening to her son, willing to stop her hectic evening routine, ignoring my insignificant stories, in order to try and learn something that was of interest to her child. She made him feel his world and interests were as important as hers; and that he had something to offer and something to teach. I am sure her child felt very special at that moment.
The things one can learn at the thrift store
In one of my many visits to NY I went thrift store hopping with my aunt (who is an artist and a stylist) and her daughter who was 12 years old back then (she should be 24 this summer). My aunt was looking for some vintage pieces for her models. I remember vividly how she took the time to explain to her daughter why she was making the selections she was making. She was giving her a non-lesson in styling. I was getting a non-lesson in ‘the parent I want to be’. I remember thinking to my self how lucky this girl is, and how I want to be the same with my kids - teach them everything I know. My cousin now works as an art director for a high profile advertising company in New York.
Keeping the door open
Zoe (6 1/2) is a self learner. She doesn’t like to be taught different skills, but teaches herself through mimicking and self exploration. I think it is an amazing virtue, but sometimes I wish she would accept some more guidance. When I used to offer to teach her different skills, she would get all negative and I would get aggravated.
Oren, on the other hand, would hardly ever propose to teach her music. All he did was keep his door open, and give her enough room to explore and develop interest in playing an instrument. After she sat by his drum set on her own, he slowly put the head phones in her ears, playing the tunes she likes. Gradually he balanced her hand teaching her
While Zoe explored music, I learned how to keep my door open, and be more patient and attentive. I found that when I do that, her negative state of mind turns positive. Today she plays the drums almost every day, letting Oren teach her some basic drumming skills every once in a while. She even asked him for guitar lessons and me for some sewing lessons, doing it her own way (of course)We have so much to offer, we are all so unique, skilled, knowledgeable and talented in different ways. Many parents will guard their hobbies and the things they love as their getaway and will not share them with their kids, and I can understand that. BUT I also think that sharing what we know with our kids not only broadens their knowledge and makes them smarter and more skilled, but also creates a stronger and tighter relationship between a parent and a child.
1. They will know so much more
2. Often save money on afternoon activities
3. Spend precious time together
4. Create priceless memories
5. Build trust and understanding
6. Have a partner to do the things you love and know
7. More help in the kitchen
The disadvantage of teaching them everything you know: (yes, I did find some...)
1. If it is a language you are teaching them; the consequence may be no more secret language to share with your husband
2. If you let them taste all the food you like, they will end up sharing your Clams and Brie (that’s what happened to me)
3. If you teach them crafts you know, you may have to share your tools and they don’t always put them back where they belong.
4. If it is an instrument, you may need to take turns.
Some reasons why you should learn form your child:
1. Your child is very smart
2. He/ she are growing up in a time so different that we as adults have much catching up to do, and learning from your child is a great opportunity to do so.
3. Have a better understanding of your child’s world
4. Builds trust and respect
5. If you expect your child to learn from you, you may want to show him/her how its done
6. Spend precious time together
7. Creating priceless memories
As parents we must protect our children and nurture them with the things they need, our bonus is when we teach them things we know.
I can’t tell you how sorry I am for not learning any Hungarian form my dad, or how to knit and crochet from my mom (I have actually recently asked her to teach me how to knit). I am sure most of you could say the same about a language or a skill you wish you would have learned from your parents.
Don’t let your kids grow up wishing they would have learned something form you that they didn't. Make it part of what your family is about. Don’t forget this is not a one way relationship; be ready to learn as much from them at any age and any time, even if you are right in the middle of putting the dishes away. The dishes can wait, but an opportunity will be missed and most likely will not return.
I would love to hear your thoughts on that topic.
You may do so by adding a comment or emailing me directly.
tali
